


Lonely

by rabbitjesus



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 04:05:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabbitjesus/pseuds/rabbitjesus
Summary: It's trauma time babeyyyyy !!!! Time to throw more shit at Jeremy !!!!





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bea_The_Cat123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bea_The_Cat123/gifts).



"This isn't what I wanted!" He screamed, again.

"This is the  _only_ way to get what you want!"

"I-I'll fight back!! There's gotta be a way to turn you off! I-I can get drunk!"

"And I'll just be back when you're sober. Don't do this Jeremy, you don't wanna end up like _Rich_. Destroyed, lonely, and just absolutely crazy. That's what happens when you try to get rid of _me_ , Jeremy." He could see that thing in front of him, grinning like a shark. Slicked back black hair, innocent sweater vest and pants like your average school counselor.

He remembered Rich, right before he was burned alive and sent to the hospital. "Red! Green Mountain Dew activates you, red shuts you off!" He got up. The play costume weighed down on him, but he moved to an exit- any exit. He had to get to Michael, and phones aren't allowed on set.

He was barely three feet away before an electric shock shook him to his core. He felt his spine seizing up, sending spiderwebs of blunt pain into his brain, right behind his eyes. Holy _fuck_ , he was gonna be sick.  
"Why do you think we had it discontinued? You can't get rid of me Jeremy. No one here is going to help you." No matter how pleased it sounded, there was still no emotion in the SQUIP's dead, green eyes.

He couldn't escape, he was practically stuck vomiting on the floor, helpless as he heard the cast become squipped, one by one. All those kids he just wanted to befriend, and he unwillingly drew them into a cult. Their brains rewired to become 'perfect', all because he was a fucking loser who didn't know how to ask a girl out. He just wanted the bullying to be over, to feel accepted, to get rid of the gnawing anxiety and self hate. Now he lost everyone, and everyone is going to lose themself because of him.

The SQUIP was right, no one was going to help him. No one was there, no one really cared about him. The only people that did are long gone, he cut them off. He told them they were worthless losers. The SQUIP may have told him to, but _he_  is the one who did it.

No one is gonna save him now, even if somehow Michael finds a way to save the rest of the cast. He ruined that already, and now he is stuck with a constantly brainwashing super computer in his head. He was fucked, and he deserved it.

He could hear the cast laughing, the audience starting to take SQUIPs. He could hear Michael sobbing when he ditched him on Halloween. He could see his dad sitting on the couch, waiting for his deranged, asshole son to come home safe. The cast was so happy now, and Jeremy couldn't tell if any thought they had was their own anymore, all because of him.

He wanted Michael, he wanted this to end. He didn't want this, he wanted to just make everyone _happy_. He just wanted everything to be okay, but he kept just _fucking up every single thing he touched. No wonder the SQUIP was so good at manipulating him; he was a miserable, selfish, good-for-nothing dumbass._

Jeremy woke up with all his muscles locked, lying on his back. He opened his eyes, head still swarming with vomit-inducing anxiety. His room was dark. Looking at his phone, it was only 4 in the morning. No notifications. He slowed his breathing on his own, staring off the edge of the bed. He looked at the computer, but the thought of it made him twitch. He settled for just closing his eyes.

He could just sit there for a few more hours, alone until the sun rose. He was uses to this. No more voices inside his head, and no more outside either.


End file.
